Movies take anywhere from 2-3 hours of a person’s dedicated time. And while I have spent a ridiculous amount of time to devote to this border-line obsession, even an avid movie goer such as myself knows when to draw the line. There are some movies that are just plain awful and you know it without even seeing it (like any Katherine Heigl movie… she’s batting like 100). A friend of mine captured it best: “it’s like they are just blatantly stealing my money. Like they know it’s crap and didn’t even try to hide it.” So, while sometimes Hollywood can fool me with a well-cut teaser highlighting the only funny jokes or romantic scenes in the entire film, there are some monstrosities no amount of marketing and publicity can save. Thus, the boycott list of Winter/ Spring 2011 (you’ll notice a few patterns):
Title | Rationale |
Battle: LA | I still don’t even understand its premise, but it looks absolutely pointless (people fighting aliens for LA without even the comic relief of Will Smith or M Night Shyamalan’s reputation for suspense) |
Beastly | While it actually looked enticing on the surface (I love re mixing a classic story), I just hate Vanessa Hudges, like all Disney teen idols. Flare for the dramatic. |
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son | The first one was terrible… adding another cross-dressing goof isn’t going to enhance much, regardless of what idiotic situation warrants the get-ups. |
I am Number Four | Outside of being terribly named… yup, nope. That’s about it. Aliens being bounty-hunted; it’s like Escape from Witch Mountain without the adorable adolescents. |
Sucker Punch | Similar to why I won’t be watching Beastly (Vanessa Hudges), angsty teens in a fantasy 300 world sounds like a terrible idea. Though I do like the cinematic liberties, it can’t overcompensate for an awful script. |
Unknown | It’s the most predicable story line ever… Wolverine Origins or Bourne Series (“I curse the day I lost my identity and those responsible though I initially volunteered for it”) without the cool claws and the familiarity of the characters. |
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