A brief note on long movies

There are far too many movies out this season that are over 2 1/2 hours long.  Between travel time, previews, and the actual movie, I lose close to 4 hours of my day.  While I love movies, that seems a bit excessive.  And what's worst, is that they feel that long.  As a general rule of thumb, I think the ideal running time should be between 90 and 120 min.  Anything shorter doesn't allow for any type of character development and only enough time for the conflict and resolution; even "Clueless" was 97 minutes long.   Case and point: "Friday after Next"

Anything longer and I feel like there is always 20 minutes of filler that I want back in my life.  In fact, I know the exact 20 minute segment I want to nix from the 165-minute "Dark Knight Rises."  I'm not even remotely interested in seeing the director's cuts on those bad boys.  So, please, stop making them sooo long now-- either turn them into 2 movies or cut some stuff out.
Thanks, the audience

A brief note on simple crime movies

Color me simple, but I appreciate a straight forward crime story.  No high tech gadgets, no spies and government agencies, and no conspiracies.  That doesn't mean I don't like the Bond series, I just prefer a simple thug story that focuses on the people rather than the overarching plot a la Snatch.  A devout minimalist, this does not mean skimp on the story; it still needs to be clever and entertaining.  But if you need to spell out for me the entire plot, as no one in the audience would have ever pieced it together on their own, 10 minutes before the final showdown scene, then you are doing the most (and not in a good way).  It is an insult to my intelligence (not only can I not solve the puzzle on my own by design, but it completely ignores the fact that I might want to try).  I get that some people like it, but I think a far greater number of people appreciate a good old-fashioned heist.  In summary, when devising a good story, don't over think it.

A brief note on books and movies

It is a known fact that when a book becomes a movie, 90% of the time the book will be better.  Once I've seen an early release trailer or heard rumor of its production, I often go back and forth on whether or not I should read (or re-read) the book before the movie or see the movie and, if I like it enough, read the book (funny how neither scenario will stop me from seeing the movie).  I was reminded of the source of the debate while listening to the Great Gatsby on a 6 hour drive: the audiobook took 7 hours (even when narrated by the expressive Tim Robbins) to detail the imagery, the sentiment and provoke the imagination.  The details that aren't specified you make up anyways, making the personal impact that much greater. 
So to answer the original question of which order is best, as any well-trained MBA will tell you, it depends.  The book is a richer experience while the movie can be 20x better than your imagination. When in doubt, read it later. I got to enjoy the Hunger Games, reading what I missed out on after the fact, and ruined the HP film serial by critisizing the critical details left out of the films. 

A brief note on the holidays...

I have a love-hate relationship with the ridiculously hectic holiday season between November 21^st and Jan 2^nd.  I love the time I get to spend with family and old friends, the obscene amounts of food I consume, not to mention the new stuff you need to find space for in your overstuffed carry-on luggage.  The amount of money I spend on food, presents, and plane tickets is shameful, and the percentage of time I waste is unattainable at any other time of the year.  Still, this is the time I spend catching up on the last releases of the year.  A cherished pastime in my family, every year we’d see an average of 3 movies a week.  This year proved to be no different, spurring the volume of films seen in December (and then written up about early January... when I find the time).

A brief note on time management

Time is both the most consistent and inconsistent thing in a person’s live.  You can always find some of it, but it often seems to be used in the most frivolous ways… watching 3 seasons of Battlestar Gallatica in 2 weeks, staying out on a Tuesday until 4 am, having brunch for 3 hours.  All of these activities are limited to short-term, if not immediate consumed, benefits.  And always at the cost of something you “really should be doing.”  So, needless to say, I am returning from my hiatus (though to my defense, it was the first semester of grad school) to clock some long-overdue computer time.  Though I’m sure nobody missed me.

The Black List: Summer Bombs

I get the whole blockbuster season of the summer.  Eager boys riding their bikes to the local theater to watch nothing but stuff blow up and consume lots of sugar.  An expensive but profitable business model.  However, I am not a 13 year old boy.  Thus, the second installment of the boycott list Summer 2011:

Title	Rationale
The Change-Up	I really wanted to, I did.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that the funny parts are in the trailers, and the rest of the intended humor I would find unnecessarily disgusting.
Conan the Barbarian	I wasn’t interested in the first one, let alone a remake with an unrecognizable actor.  Had they cast Joe Manganiello, that would be a different story…
Cowboys & Aliens	And it had sooo much potential.  Great cast, zippy and unexpected twist on a classic premise… and yet this film just screams buyer’s remorse.  Considering the trailer’s lack of words, it still left a lot to be desired.
Green Lantern	I get that Ryan Reynolds wants to change it up, but he’s just so good at being understatedly funny.  As this looks like a hodge-podged plot for an unknown superhero, no amount of charm could save it.
Cars 2/Spy Kids 4/ The Smurfs in 3D	Aside from the fact there are too many numbers in their titles, I am just not the appropriate age for this. I like family movies as much as the next kid, but these seem a little too silly/ remedial (no Finding Nemo).

A Brief Note on the (Pre-)Sequel

There are some stories that are just that good.  It’s a fact.  Sometimes it’s because of the characters and sometimes it’s the plot itself.   And because they are so good, you want more: backstory, fiascos, triumphs and loves.  HOWEVER, not every movie can spawn a franchise.  Sometimes, it is meant to just be a movie.  You cannot feed me the exact same scenario and expect me not to be pissed.  I find it downright insulting when the powers that be (writers, producers, studios, etc.) just mail-in the movie and expect us to be happy.  Prequels and sequels require more than just the entertainment to original brought; it needs to enhance the franchise.  In other words, add value.  I should learn something new about Spiderman, Batman, Harry Potter, and/or Jason Borne.  Otherwise, don’t use the same flippin’ characters!  You know you’re wrong for that.  To be sure, I appreciate a franchise as much as anyone (Star Trek, Star Wars, Batman, etc.).  But there is a brand to maintain, or at least some pride.  

The Black List: post-Oscar season sludge

Movies take anywhere from 2-3 hours of a person’s dedicated time.  And while I have spent a ridiculous amount of time to devote to this border-line obsession, even an avid movie goer such as myself knows when to draw the line.  There are some movies that are just plain awful and you know it without even seeing it (like any Katherine Heigl movie… she’s batting like 100).  A friend of mine captured it best: “it’s like they are just blatantly stealing my money.  Like they know it’s crap and didn’t even try to hide it.”  So, while sometimes Hollywood can fool me with a well-cut teaser highlighting the only funny jokes or romantic scenes in the entire film, there are some monstrosities no amount of marketing and publicity can save.  Thus, the boycott list of Winter/ Spring 2011 (you’ll notice a few patterns):

Title	Rationale
Battle: LA	I still don’t even understand its premise, but it looks absolutely pointless (people fighting aliens for LA without even the comic relief of Will Smith  or M Night Shyamalan’s reputation for suspense)
Beastly	While it actually looked enticing on the surface (I love re mixing a classic story), I just hate Vanessa Hudges, like all Disney teen idols.  Flare for the dramatic.
Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son	The first one was terrible… adding another cross-dressing goof isn’t going to enhance much, regardless of what idiotic situation warrants the get-ups.
I am Number Four	Outside of being terribly named… yup, nope.  That’s about it.  Aliens being bounty-hunted; it’s like Escape from Witch Mountain without the adorable adolescents.
Sucker Punch	Similar to why I won’t be watching Beastly (Vanessa Hudges), angsty teens in a fantasy 300 world sounds like a terrible idea. Though I do like the cinematic liberties, it can’t overcompensate for an awful script.
Unknown	It’s the most predicable story line ever… Wolverine Origins or Bourne Series (“I curse the day I lost my identity and those responsible though I initially volunteered for it”) without the cool claws and the familiarity of the characters.